5 Dead giveaways that you’re not a New Yorker

December 22, 2014January 8, 20161 Comment

The Holidays in New York mean one thing: tourists. The week of Christmas through New Years, the city clears out of actual New Yorkers and is filled with tons of well-meaning tourists. They walk the streets with shining eyes attempting to take it all in. However, this is downright annoying to anyone who lives here and is just trying to get to work on time (Or back from lunch. Or anywhere, really). To avoid incurring the wrath of the few New Yorkers left in the city this week, internalize the following 5 dead giveaways that you’re not from here and act accordingly.

Mean Girls has the perfect quote for every situation. #YouDon’tEvenLiveHere

1. Walking along on the sidewalk and then just stopping in the middle of it…For. No. Reason.
Okay, maybe you stopped for a reason (i.e. to check your phone for directions), but this annoys the bejesus out of me, along with everyone else. There are people behind you rushing to get somewhere and you WILL get run into (or over) by them. No dawdling. Keep up the pace, people!

2. Ordering a bagel the wrong way at Ess-A-Bagel.
I literally witnessed this happening last week. Tourists didn’t get how the line worked and got hollered at by the EMPLOYEES of the store. Not even the other New Yorkers trying to get their lunch. There is no time for patience when bagels are involved. None. (So read the inside scoop on how to order a bagel like a New Yorker)

3. Standing on the wrong side of the escalator.
People, it’s not that hard. Left side of the escalator is for walking up the steps if you’re in a hurry. Right side is for standing. End of story. Harumph.

4. Taking pictures or selfies on the subway.
First of all, we call it the “train” (not to be confused with an actual train, like the Metro-North or Amtrak). Second of all, the subway is absolutely disgusting and grimy, so any reason why you would want to commemorate this moment is beyond me. But bonus points if you get one of the countless rats scurrying along the tracks in your selfie…

5. Attempting to hail a cab that already has passengers.
Granted, this took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out when I move to New York. Every taxi cab in the city has a little box on top of its roof with its numbers that lights up. If the light is on, then you can hail the cab. If the light is off (you’ll still be able to see the numbers, they just won’t be lit up), then it already has passengers.

Just listen to Tina Fey… #MeanGirls

How to order a bagel like a New Yorker

December 22, 2014January 8, 20161 Comment

Every once in a while I get a hankering for a fresh, piping hot bagel from Ess-A-Bagel, which is a block away from my office. I stopped by last week for my usual order (cinnamon raisin bagel, toasted with butter) and witnessed the most aggressive situation ever. The tourists in town for the holidays didn’t get how the line or ordering process worked, and were all sorts of confused. Unfortunately, the employees and manager had zero patience and were having NONE of it – and started hollering at them. So, let me save you the headache (literally) and bruised ego, by explaining the nuances of the bagel-ordering process in New York.

Step one: Get in the long line snaking around the store. Yes, this is the line for bagels.

Step two: There will be a long counter in front of you. When one of the bagel guys yells, “Next!” that is your cue. Go stand in front of him at the counter. Even if he is all the way down the front near the cash register, you are not “cutting” the other people at the counter. Once you’re being helped, you’re out of the main line.

Step three: Tell your order to the bagel guy all at once, in a row. Don’t falter and know your full order by the time you get to the counter (or else). Somehow, the bagel guys have amazing memories and can remember very detailed orders with ease. For example, you could say: “One salt bagel, toasted with butter. One everything bagel, scooped and toasted, with chive cream and lox.”

Step four: Wait and do NOT move down towards the register. They will step away to start putting together your order. Do not move because they probably don’t remember what you look like, which will prolong the bagel delivery process. Just stand there and be patient. Tell them any drink or pastry orders now.

Step five: Don’t be alarmed if they yell “Next!” again before you receive your order. These guys are five-star multi-taskers. Your bagels are probably still in the toasting machine, so they’re getting another order started.

Step six: They will throw your order at you/onto the counter wrapped in deli paper. You may or may not be acknowledged. Grab it and head down to the cash register. Pay. Order any last-minute drinks or pastries. (Notice how I keep mentioning the pastries? They’re SO good. Black and white cookies are THE BEST from bagel places for some reason. Order some. You’re welcome.)

Step seven: Unwrap that bundle of deliciousness and enjoy. You just ordered a bagel like a New Yorker.

My favorite bagel places:

Daniel’s Bagels (569 3rd Ave., (212) 972-9733, danielsbagelsnyc.com)
H&H Bagels (1551 2nd Ave., (212) 734-7441, hhmidtownbagelseast.com)
Ess-A-Bagel (359 First Ave., 212-260-2252; 831 Third Ave., 212-980-1010, ess-a-bagel.com)
Pick-A-Bagel (1101 Lexington Ave., 212-517-6590, pickabagelny.com)

Free services for #broke New Yorkers

June 12, 2014December 22, 2014Leave a comment

The moment I stumbled across Suitey, a real estate tech startup, and General Assembly, an online and in-person technology school taught by professionals, I knew I hit the jackpot.

Not only are both sites incredibly helpful and provide great services, but they both offer awesome FREE benefits to users…and it’s free to sign up too: the definition of a win-win situation. Also, I am going to list all of the codes below to save you all the leg work…you’re welcome.

Site: Suitey.com
What: A NYC real estate site that allows users to search listings and then book appointments with Suitey agents to view them. The site offers a special concierge service for customers that is accessible immediately upon signing up, even if you have not rented an apartment through them or even viewed a listing. Hint: Take advantage before they figure this out…like right now.
How: Sign up for a Suitey account and then head over to the Suitey Moving Concierge section.
Benefits:

Time Warner Cable – Free installation and first month of cable free (from $89.99 triple play package)
Uber – $15 car service credit for first time users (enter in-app code: SUITEY15)
Better Move – 10% off your next move
Equinox – Free one week trial at the luxury fitness club
Parcel – Three free package deliveries (sign up here and enter code: SUITEY)
SoulCycle – One free SoulCycle spin class
Zipcar – $75 driving credit (sign up here and enter code: SUITEY2012)
Handybook – Free one hour of home services (sign up here and enter code: suite)

Site: GeneralAssemb.ly
What: A school for tech geeks and business hounds alike that offers trendy online and in-person classes and tutorials. Best part? Instructors are industry professionals that aren’t just reciting case studies from a text book; they’re teaching from their own experience and imparting cutting edge knowledge.
How: Sign up for a free two-week trial of the online portion of General Assembly and you will receive an email linking to their Front Row Member Benefits.
Benefits:

Shutterstock – 15% off royalty-free stock photos, videos and illustrations (sign up here and enter code: FRONTROW15)
Clarity.fm – $25 credit towards one-on-one business advice from entrepreneurs (sign up with this link)
Karma – 30% off mobile wifi services (sign up with this link)
Typeform – Six months of free online survey and web form building tools (sign up here and enter code: STUgssembly&07)
Omnigraffle – 20% off licenses for graphics like flow charts, diagrams and more (sign up here and enter code: GAUX2014)
O’Reilly – 50% off tech books and media from the world’s most trusted publishers (sign up with this link)
Oyster Books – Two months of free access to over 100,000 books via the Oyster app for first-time users (sign up with this link)
Amazon Web Services – $250 credit towards a low-cost, easy-to-scale “in the cloud” computing platform (sign up with this link)
Elance – $50 credit towards the freelance job board: post your services or find a freelancer for your needs (sign up with this link)
Holstee – 20% off tastefully-designed prints and posters (sign up here and enter code: galore)
Kimono – 50% off web app service…turn your web site into an API in seconds without writing a single line of code (sign up by emailing ga@kimonolabs.com and mentioning that you’re a GA Front Row member)
UXPin – Three months free + 25% off of UX design tools built by UX designers (sign up here and enter code: ga_ooPIAH)